Talking to a lot of different females, it seems like our "GOOD" Black (African American) men are almost extinct. In today's society, there are so many negative influences that surround us, that a lot of females feel deter men from being ideal. In my opinion, our biggest fear is COMMITMENT! Why is it so hard for people, Mostly MEN, to commit? Being an "ALPHA" male in todays society, makes it hard. A lot of men feel that this makes them Superior, and use it to their advantage, and while it may be wrong, IT WORKS a lot of the time. Another reason there is a lack of "GOOD" men in today's world is because of their upbringing. Many boys are raised in a single parent home, mostly by their mothers. While a Mother can nurture and try to mold, A WOMEN CAN NOT RAISE A MAN TO BE A MAN! This is a proven statement. She can try and show that man how he should treat women, but it will always click in his head, "How come my Father isn't around, shouldn't he be teaching me this"? Which is not a bad conception. Women can only do but so much to raise their son's to be better MEN, but its hard. There are so many unanswered questions, that can only be answered properly by a MAN, mainly a Father figure.
My next reason is MEDIA. Music Videos, Magazines, Pornography, Advertisements, all of these are media outlets that exploit women, portraying them as just sex symbols. When a man sees this, he is not thinking "Oh Man I want to marry her"..."He is thinking more a long of the lines "OH MAN I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER" then when he sees the next hot commodity, the same thoughts are processing. These entertainers mainly men, are NO BETTER. Rappers like Lil' Wayne who are impregnating every female on earth except Mother Nature is not a good lesson for our youth. IT is sensationalizing infidelity and glorifying it. Singers like Trey Songz, who does everything but actual insertion, in his videos, is also not a good image for our young black men these days. The message "Play some good music, have a nice smile, and workout, and you're in there".
Many men from young aren't taught the value of family, the importance of love and devotion, and the basics of MANHOOD. Leaving our young women with the question "WHERE ARE ALL OF OUR GOOD BLACK MEN?'
LADIES, please don't be alarmed, there are many "Good" Black men around. They are hiding. They are hiding because they are scared of COMMITMENT, they are scared of HEARTBREAK, they are scared THEY WON'T BE GOOD ENOUGH, or they are just plain SCARED. Men are pressured with so much these days in the society. Odds are already against a lot of them because of their skin complexion.
One thing I think should be implemented in schools, beginning in Elementary all the way through College, are Confidence and Development classes. These classes should be broken up into sexes, One for male and one for females. It should help instill a sense of pride and determination into our youth from young. It should allow Guest Speakers like Actor Boris Kodjoe, and Will Smith, who are considered Ideal Black Family Oriented Men, to come in and speak to our young men and explain to them the ups and downs of marriage, and being a black male in America, and tips to help them better themselves.
THERE ARE GOOD BLACK MEN IN AMERICA, they are just covered by the ignorant black men who don't want more for themselves.
So to all my STRONG BLACK MEN, who are ready to change the image that many women have painted of us, PLEASE STAND UP and show yourselves. Lets make those who fought long and hard for our freedoms proud and not like their efforts were in vain!!!!!
Its the GOOD BLACK MEN REVOLUTION!
S. Reid
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